Her Tangled Hair
The Story of Yosano Akiko
しろがねの箔の屏風の古びゆく如くに秋の冬になりゆく
Like an aging screen of silver foil
Autumn fades to winter
罪おほき男これせと肌きよく黒髪ながくつくられし我れ
With my sweet skin and long black hair
I was made to punish sinful men
今日のむかし前髪あげぬ十三を画にせし人に罪ありや無し
Today I found a picture of myself at 13,
Bangs hanging in my eyes,
I cannot blame the artist
But it makes me feel old
枕それし昼のかりねの夢や夢恋する人に春雨ぞ降る
Pillow askew, a nap, a dream,
It was a dream,
My lover came to me
And the spring rain fell
春の日のかたちはいまだ変らずて衰へがたの悲しみも知る
The spring days still feel the same
But I know they are running out
It makes me sad
羽振りて彼方に去れる大いなる
ものある如く雪降り止みぬ
Beating its great wings
The snowstorm lifts off;
It has important work elsewhere
Love letters came at her like arrows
She had no time to prepare
少女子は何のそなへもなきものを
矢のごとしげく文たまふかな
錫となり銀となり
うす紅き藜の原を水の流るる
Now glinting tin-color
Now glinting silver
A field of faint red quinoa
With water running though it
ゆあがりのみじまひなりて姿見に笑みし
昨日の無きにしもあらず
Stepping out of the bath and smiling at how I look
Not so different from what I once was, after all
She left in the morning
He watched her cross the bridge
Umbrella open to the falling snow
きぬぎぬや雪の傘する舞ごろも
うしろで見よと橋こえてきぬ
のろひ歌かかかさねたる反古とりて
黒き胡蝶をおさへぬるかな
I wrote a cursed verse
And used the paper to catch
what danced into my room —
A black butterfly
なにとなく 君に待たるる ここちして
出でし 花野の 夕月夜かな
The moon shone over an autumn field
As I stepped out, sensing somehow
That you were waiting for me
みだれ髪を京の島田にかへし朝
ふしてゐませの君ゆり起こす
Wake up, honey
I twisted back my tangled hair
Into a Kyoto-style bun
この頃のわが衰へを美くしと
見るすべ時にうち忘れつつ
Lately pushed by life’s errands, I forget
To see the beauty in my own decline
京の水の深み見おろし秋を人の
裂きし小指の血のあと寒き
Autumn leaves reflected in a Kyoto well
She writes a verse in blood with her little finger
And shivers
母の顔木の間の月を見るやうに
子は遠く見る病して後
My children peer at me
Like a distant moon through trees
Mommy is on the mend
旅の身の大河ひとつまどはむや
徐に日記の里の名けしぬ（旅びと）
Traveler, cross the mad river slowly, then
Erase the name of your beloved hometown
From the diary of your mind
くれなゐの薔薇のかさねの唇に
霊の香のなき歌載せますな
Only my truth, the incense of my soul,
Must ever be sung from
This dark-dyed rose petal mouth
秋の神の御衣より曳く白き虹
ものおもふ子の額に消えぬ
Pulled from Autumn’s robes,
Descending faded, it disappears
Into the dreaming maiden’s brow
A rainbow
恋人の歌くちずさみつつ
夕よる柱つめたき秋の雨かな
Staring out at the autumn rain
Humming your song,
I lean against a cold, wood column
And wish it was you
おりたちてうつつなき身の牡丹見ぬ
そぞろや夜を蝶のねにこし
Wandering in a garden of flowers I see
A butterfly resting his wings
In a peony's arms
海棠にえうなくときし紅すてて
夕雨みやる瞳よたゆき
Lipstick discarded
Red under the dripping begonia
Washed out, she walks away
あづまやに水のおときく
藤の夕はづしますなのひくき枕よ
Stay in this quiet place
Wisteria in evening, the sound of water
And your head in my lap
黒き家灯のともる時旅人は涙こぼしぬ川のこなたに
As a light comes on in a dark house across the river,
On this side,
A traveler weeps
兎の絵魚の絵描きて永き日を子に見することややあじきなし
Pictures of rabbits, Pictures of fish
A day with tireless playing children
Leaves me feeling empty
不可思議は天に二日のあるよりもわが體に鳴る三つの心臓
More mysterious than two suns in one sky
Three hearts are sounding in my body
うすものの二尺のたもとすべりおちて
蛍ながるる夜風の青木
Sliding down the long sleeve of her summer kimono
The firefly floats into the blue night
まゐる酒に灯あかき宵を歌たまへ
女はらから牡丹に名なき
Here for the sake and the bright lights,
“Recite more poems!” they say,
Like so many pretty peonies
These nameless women
あめつちの中にただよふ悲しみを
わがものとして親しむ夕
All the sadness of
Heaven and Earth
I make my own tonight
われすでにあたはずと云ひ人々に
一尺すさりものをこそ思へ
To those who say
It should already be done
I think it better
To slow down a bit
わが恋のめでたきことを思ふ時おつる涙の焔のしづく
When I think of our love
So powerful
My teardrops turn to flames
美くしく黄金を塗れる塔に居て
十とせさめざる夢のひとわれ
No longer a child, I am
Still painting my golden tower
Still dreaming my dreams
わが取れる紗の燈籠に草いろの袖をひろげて来る蟷螂
Lighting a lantern with a bit of gauze
A praying mantis comes to see
Spreading his grass-colored sleeves
As Akiko got older, I think she felt a lot of regret and guilt.
Thoughts in Autumn
This morning, I am thinking.
Things are clearer now in autumn,
They are coming together:
Love, death, art,
Clear and cool as a bell.
Raising my eyes to
the blue sky, I am there.
In the cattails before me too.
Drenched in teardrops,
Now, at last, I can cry.
「秋思」
わが思い この朝ぞ
秋に澄み、
一つに集まる。
愛と、死と、芸術と、
玲瓏として涼し。
目をあげて見れば、
かの青空も我なり、
前なる狗子草も、
涙しとどにとめて、
やがて泣ける我なり
わが太郎色鉛筆の短きを
二つ三つ持ち雪を見るかな
My boy sits with stubby colored pencils
And contemplates the snow
水十里ゆふべの船をあだにやりて
柳による子ぬかうつくしき乙女
A pier at sundown
Woman leans on a willow tree
And watches him go
三十路をば越していよいよ自らの
愛づべきを知り黒髪を梳く
Over thirty now,
it comes to me as I comb my black hair,
It is time to start loving myself
わが恋は 虹にもまして 美しき
いなづまとこそ 似むと願ひむ
My love will be
Beautiful as a rainbow
But like lightning too
七つの子かたはらに来てわが歌をすこしづつ読む春の夕ぐれ
Spring evening
Seven-year old comes to my side
And reads my poem
One character at a time
神のさだめ命のひびき終の我世琴に斧うつ音ききたまへ
When the gods deliver judgment on me
Take an axe to my koto and
Listen to the notes of my life
Reverberating
とき髪に室睦まじの百合のかをり
消えをあやぶむ夜の淡紅色よ
Unwinding my hair in this room where we slept
The fragrance of lilies is fading
In the soft red night
ほとほとも他事に埋もれありしこと流星のごと思ひ出しかな
Up to my neck in everyday worries when
--just like that--
It shoots through my heart like a falling star
よそごとに涙こぼれぬある時の
ありのすさびにひきあはせつつ
Something reminds me
and tears flow;
I am
Too tired for gratitude
石七つ拾へるひまにわが心
大人になりぬ石捨てて行く
Seven stones I picked up on the beach
Then the grownup in me
Threw them down and walked away
火の跡の灰といささかことなれる
この趣きを君は知るらむ
We are more than just
Ashes after a great fire
You know that
I hope
君に似し二尺ばかりの人ありて家うち光れり神より来しや
These little ones that look like you
Gifts from God
that fill our house with light
なつかしきものを偽り次次に草の名までも云ひ続けけり
You ask me what I love most
I recite a long list of grasses and flowers
But I’m lying
しろがね矢おへる丹の頬の助勢のきたるを覚ゆ海をし見れば
Look, toward the sea!
Red-cheeked, bearing silver arrows,
Reinforcements are coming.
むらさきの蝶夜の夢にとびかひぬふるさとにちる藤の見えけむ
Purple butterflies fluttered in my dreams.
When I opened my eyes
Wisteria petals were floating down the street
わが心さびしき色に染むと見き火のごとしてふことのはじめに
Even in the beginning,
when our hearts were burning,
the color of my flames was lonely
Night pillow
Hair and the red coral pin soaked with rain
Come back to me
夜のまくら赤き珊瑚にむら雨のふるとしきかば帰りこよ君
Stars look down on the flutter of bed drapes below and imagine
Tendrils of nether women’s hair
夜の帳に ささめき尽きし星の今を 下界の人の 鬢のほつれよ
He could sleep through the bells of Chion-In Temple
Yet the whisper of my robe as I picked up my fan
Made him open his eyes
知恩院の鐘が覚まさぬ人さめぬ扇もとむるわが衣ずれに
Who is to blame? she cries,
Why are the best ones left to spin in the tide?
誰が罪ぞ永劫くらきうづしほの中にさそひし玉と泣くひと
Through tears you see me
A girl on fire
You are burning too
われを見れば焔の少女君みれば君も火なりと涙ながしぬ
春三月柱おかぬ琴に 音たてぬ ふれし そぞろの宵の 乱れ髪
Three spring months, the koto sat unplayed until
Tangled hair fell upon the strings and
It sang
I miss the ocean
The girl I was
Counting the distant sounding waves
My parents’ house
海恋し潮の遠鳴りかぞへては少女となりし父母の家
In 1901, Akiko moved from her home near the ancient capital of Kyoto, to the far-off, big city of Tokyo. Her family disowned her for running off with a man who was already married. She must have felt lonely at times. In this tanka, Akiko is missing her mother. I sometimes think about where my own mother is too, at this moment, far away from me.
West from this grassy door three hundred miles
There is a garden of white plum blossoms under a thin moon
Perhaps the petals fall on my mother’s shoulders tonight
草の戸の西うすの月の京は百里の白梅母にちる夜か
In 1912, Akiko left on a long trip to Europe. Her husband, Hiroshi, had left months earlier. Their goal was to document their impressions of the outside world to a Japanese public eager for information. After more than 200 years of almost-total isolation, Japan had only recently reopened to international commerce and communication. Akiko left behind six children, probably in the care of relatives. Akiko returned to Japan a few months later, ahead of Hiroshi, in part because she could not bear to be parted from her children.
子等に
あはれならずや、その雛を
荒がんの上の巣に残し、
恋しき兄鷹を尋ねんと、
颶風の空に下りながら
雛の啼く音にためらへる
若き女鷹の若しあらば。
それは窶れて遠く行く
今日の門出の我が心。
いとしき児らよ、ゆるせかし、
しばし待てかし、若き日を
猶夢を見るこの母は
汝が父をこそ頼むなれ。
To My Children
The mother hawk comes no more,
Her chicks in a nest on a stormy cliff,
If dear Brother Hawk had not come,
Descending from a cyclone sky,
The cries of her chicks
Would have made her waver.
How pitiful am I, to go so far away.
I hesitate in the doorway.
My beloved children, forgive me,
Wait for me, pause your childish days,
As for this dreaming mother of yours,
Go ask your father.
The Spring in the Woods
The sadness of the spring in the woods at night,
The quiet of the young leaves trembling, The white breath of the evening mist.
The sadness of the spring in the woods at night,
When a soft wind blows, the suffering flowers shake off their perfume.
The sadness of the spring in the woods at night,
The muddy moon goddess with her golden hair comb goes wandering.
The sadness of the spring in the woods at night,
Blowing, blowing, blowing,
Blowing on her flute, as I, too,
Blow sadness on my flute.
木の間の泉
木の間の泉の夜となる哀しさ
静けき若葉の身ぶるひ、夜霧の白い息。
木の間の泉の夜となる哀しさ、
微風なげけば、花の香ぬれつつ身悶えぬ。
木の間の泉の夜となる哀しさ、
黄金のさし櫛、月姫うるみて彷徨へり。
木の間の泉の夜となる哀しさ、
笛、笛、笛、笛、我が等も悲しき笛を吹く。
鼠
わが家の天井に鼠栖めり、
きしきしと音するは
鑿とりて像を彫む人
夜も寝ぬが如し。
またその妻と踊りては
廻るひびき
競馬の勢あり。
わが物書く上に
屋根裏の砂ぼこり
はらはらと散るも
彼等いかで知らん。
されど我は思ふ、
我は鼠と共に栖めるなり、
彼等に食ひ物あれ、
よき温かき巣あれ、
天井に孔をも開けて
折折に我を覗けよ。
The Mouse
A mouse lives in my ceiling.
The sound he makes at night,
Is like a sculptor who can’t sleep
Tap-tapping with his chisel.
He also dances with his wife,
Around and around,
Like race horses running,
Raining dust powdery from the ceiling
On top of my papers,
Unbeknownst to them.
And yet, I think,
I can live with this mouse.
He has a bit of food,
And a warm little nest,
And sometimes he peeks through
The hole in the ceiling
To check on me.
A girl of 20
combs her waterfall hair
The beauty of spring
untouched by sadness
その子二十 櫛に ながるる 黒髪の
おごりの 春の うつくしきかな
She is a lamb wandering thirsty in the forest
And he is water
水に飢ゑて 森をさまよふ 小羊の その まなざしに 似たらずや 君
Borne on the spring evening breeze
A sweet fragrance touches her hair
Leave her be
She is so young
春の夜の 闇の中くる あまき風 しばし かの子が 髪に吹かざれ
Sensing that you are looking for me
I step into the moonlight
Fall leaves swirl
なにとなく君に待たるるここちして出でし花野の夕月夜かな
That spring morning
Up so early
Everyone in the village still sleeping
So we crossed the downstream bridge
together
後朝や春の村人まだ覚めぬ
水を渡りし河下の橋
まゐる酒に, 灯 あかき宵を 歌 たまへ, 女はらから 牡丹に 名なき
“Read more poetry and we’ll pour more wine”, the ladies croon, and you indulge them.
But no one names peonies, you know, they all look the same.
海棠に えうなく ときし 紅すてて 夕雨みやる 瞳よたゆき
Unused lipstick lies discarded under the dripping flower hedge
Washed out, she heads home
細き わが うなじにあまる 御手のべて ささへたまへな 帰る夜の神
I know you must go but
Hold me, she says
The nape of her neck supported by his broad hand